What is Bliss Community Dance?
Bliss Community Dance is expressly for those who wish to gently and intimately engage others and mutually explore our hearts and boundaries and imperfections. We learn to experience ourselves in the present and explore our comfort zones from moment to moment through a dance of compassion and personal growth.
Is Bliss Community Dance right for me?
At Bliss Community Dance, you are responsible for your experience. This is your dance. There is no need to dance with anyone. Many of us who are veterans of Bliss Community dance began by dancing by ourselves, as satellites in the larger dance sky, and did so for years before branching out into the larger dance universe. Some continue to dance primarily alone. Should you decide to dance with others, you should dance with those you feel comfortable with. If you find someone or a group does not dance comfortably with you, you might try a different approach, or graciously bow and move on. You need not worry about hurting someone’s feelings by moving away; they are responsible for their own feelings and you are responsible to yourself first and foremost. There is no need to wait until the end of the dance or even the next beat to make a change when it feels right for you.
Is Bliss Community Dance for everyone?
Bliss Community Dance can accommodate almost any comfort level, from the very shy to the very social and anyone in between. That being said, those who have not yet learned to safeguard their own boundaries, or respect the boundaries of others, will end up hurting, and/or being hurt by others. These two characteristics often go hand in hand, as those who have not yet feel comfortable saying no to others may also find it difficult to not take it personally when others say no to them. If you find that either or both of these characteristics apply to you, you could find Bliss Community Dance to be traumatizing to you and others, and you are urged to develop at least basic skills in these areas before you fully participate in the wonderful dance that is Bliss Community Dance.
The Basis for a Safe and Rewarding Dance at Bliss Community Dance:
Explore from a place of personal comfort and safety:
When we explore, we are going into uncharted personal territory. Our initial experience might be fear, and our response to retreat, or it might be exhilaration and we move in further into our hearts uncharted territory. In the process of our exploration, we may find that we do not feel as safe as we thought, and find that we need to retreat. Our zone of safety might be one step back, a retreat from that dance, or we might need to retreat from the dance floor altogether. In the process of learning and growing, we will cross each other's boundaries.
Always treat each person with dignity and respect their personal choices: We can support the growth of each other by allowing each person the freedom to explore within the bounds of their safety and comfort. If we recognize verbal or non-verbal cues of a person needing more space, then we can graciously step back as well. We must not take the withdrawal as a personal rebuke, and must understand that any move towards safety is a personal decision that is about that individual’s personal needs.
When a person does not feel safe, any event is a potential threat or trauma: Bliss Community dance is an adventure. It is not an adventure when you know exactly what will happen. However, it is a wise practice to always begin an adventure from a place of safety, and have a place of safety to return to as well. Safety is a subjective experience and can vary from moment to moment.
For example, a person might, in one moment, feel safe alone and prefer not to be in the company of others. Later that same person might feel safe with other people and prefer not to be alone. Only you can experience what feels right for you. Others can observe and respond to your verbal and non-verbal cues.
As we grow and explore we will find that sometimes we trigger a memory of some darker experience. Reaching into a trigger can be healing when it is done slowly, gently and tenderly, and from a place of safety.
It is important to understand that Bliss Community Dance is not a substitute for professional healing and support: Those with significant trauma may need to get professional help before they can comfortably participate in Bliss Community Dance without feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
When we explore, we are going into uncharted personal territory. Our initial experience might be fear, and our response to retreat, or it might be exhilaration and we move in further into our hearts uncharted territory. In the process of our exploration, we may find that we do not feel as safe as we thought, and find that we need to retreat. Our zone of safety might be one step back, a retreat from that dance, or we might need to retreat from the dance floor altogether. In the process of learning and growing, we will cross each other's boundaries.
Always treat each person with dignity and respect their personal choices: We can support the growth of each other by allowing each person the freedom to explore within the bounds of their safety and comfort. If we recognize verbal or non-verbal cues of a person needing more space, then we can graciously step back as well. We must not take the withdrawal as a personal rebuke, and must understand that any move towards safety is a personal decision that is about that individual’s personal needs.
When a person does not feel safe, any event is a potential threat or trauma: Bliss Community dance is an adventure. It is not an adventure when you know exactly what will happen. However, it is a wise practice to always begin an adventure from a place of safety, and have a place of safety to return to as well. Safety is a subjective experience and can vary from moment to moment.
For example, a person might, in one moment, feel safe alone and prefer not to be in the company of others. Later that same person might feel safe with other people and prefer not to be alone. Only you can experience what feels right for you. Others can observe and respond to your verbal and non-verbal cues.
As we grow and explore we will find that sometimes we trigger a memory of some darker experience. Reaching into a trigger can be healing when it is done slowly, gently and tenderly, and from a place of safety.
It is important to understand that Bliss Community Dance is not a substitute for professional healing and support: Those with significant trauma may need to get professional help before they can comfortably participate in Bliss Community Dance without feeling emotionally overwhelmed.
Additional Guidelines for a Safe and Rewarding Dance at Bliss Community DancE
Go Slow: Always approach others with a gentle invitation, free of expectations or demands. This is particularly true when you are new to dance or are dancing with a new person.
Approach touch gently: While dance does not necessarily need to involve touch, it frequently does. Experienced from a place of safety and mutual consent, human touch can be a wonderful affirmation and a powerful healing. Conversely, unwanted touch can feel like an intrusion, an invasion, and even an outright violation. In order for us to explore and to extend an open invitation to dance and play, we cannot be afraid of touching each other; Nevertheless we must also be ever mindful of potentially of overstepping. If someone takes a step back, we should step back as well, and let them make the next move. Even dances that do not involve touch still involve entering another person’s personal space and the same principles apply: Don’t be afraid to gently engage: if an individual does not seem to respond in the affirmative, take a step back and let them make the next move.
Use caution with touch in physically and socially sensitive areas: It is important to note that some types of touch are much more intimate and vulnerable and therefore much more difficult to approach from a position of safety. We are so often deprived of adult touch outside of sexual experiences, that any touch can have a sexual connotation. Intimate sensual touch does not mean it is sexual. Sensual touch should be approached cautiously, consciously, and with deep respect and care.
It is never okay to forcibly cross another person’s boundaries for our own self-gratification or sense of power. Only an individual can define what they feel comfortable with, and it is inappropriate for others to define this for them.
For example, Bliss Community Dance members who have danced together for years may feel safe and comfortable doing a dance that involves contact improv, laying on the floor, or touch that may include ‘no touch zones’ as part of the movement. Remember this is your dance, and another person’s dance is their dance. You can and should move away to another area if someone else’s dance is giving rise to feelings of discomfort in you.
Be aware of your body in relation to others: The nature of a busy dance floor is that we will come into contact with each other. This is a natural part of the dance. However, you are responsible for your own body and actions. When you unintentionally or intentionally do something that hurts or frightens another person you should apologize, to let them know you are sorry, and allow them to make the next step. It does not matter if what you did would not have frightened you. It is entirely up to the other person to decide what is right for them.
Be forgiving of yourself and others: We welcome you with your imperfections. We all make mistakes and it’s okay. Dance can be seen as a process of blunders and recoveries. Even the process of walking is one of falling and catching ourselves. It is very difficult to be open and understanding and grow in a world where perfection is required. In general, we are good about forgiving others, and are most hard upon ourselves. When we make a mistake, we should hold ourselves accountable: we should apologize, take reasonable actions to avoid similar mistakes, and then move forward in our new knowledge with love and honor for ourselves and others. As humans, we have a tendency to punish ourselves repeatedly for our mistakes, which is inherently abusive. When we find ourselves caught in this cycle, we should greet ourselves once again with compassion and forgiveness, and move forward with renewed self-respect.
Surrender from a place of safety and love: To surrender one’s control and allow another to lead can be a freeing dance experience. This should be done in awareness and one should never try to force surrender in one’s self or in another. Earned trust through experience is especially important for maneuvers where you leave a grounded position. You should only surrender with the awareness that you remain responsible for yourself in all circumstances.
Experimenting with altered states on the dance floor should be avoided: Self-exploration through dance requires that you be truly present. Altered states may give you a false sense of your own safety, and may also impair your ability to respond appropriately to others.
Children are welcome and require monitoring: Bliss Community Dance welcomes dancers of all ages. A busy dance floor can be difficult to negotiate for aware adults, and is even more difficult for children. Children require parental engagement and responsibility at all times. Adult dancers need to give special awareness and caution when dancing near dancers of small size and limited awareness and experience.
Waiver and Release of Claims: I knowingly, voluntarily, and expressly waive, for myself and my executors, administrators, assignees, guests, and heirs, any and all rights and claims for personal injury, damages, losses, and other actions whatsoever, which I may have or which may arise against Bliss Community Dance, or any of its employees, directors, officers, agents, or representatives, including but not limited to any and all injuries, damages or illnesses suffered by me or dance attendees, which may, in any way whatsoever, arise out of, be related to or in any way be connected with the dance event.
Approach touch gently: While dance does not necessarily need to involve touch, it frequently does. Experienced from a place of safety and mutual consent, human touch can be a wonderful affirmation and a powerful healing. Conversely, unwanted touch can feel like an intrusion, an invasion, and even an outright violation. In order for us to explore and to extend an open invitation to dance and play, we cannot be afraid of touching each other; Nevertheless we must also be ever mindful of potentially of overstepping. If someone takes a step back, we should step back as well, and let them make the next move. Even dances that do not involve touch still involve entering another person’s personal space and the same principles apply: Don’t be afraid to gently engage: if an individual does not seem to respond in the affirmative, take a step back and let them make the next move.
Use caution with touch in physically and socially sensitive areas: It is important to note that some types of touch are much more intimate and vulnerable and therefore much more difficult to approach from a position of safety. We are so often deprived of adult touch outside of sexual experiences, that any touch can have a sexual connotation. Intimate sensual touch does not mean it is sexual. Sensual touch should be approached cautiously, consciously, and with deep respect and care.
It is never okay to forcibly cross another person’s boundaries for our own self-gratification or sense of power. Only an individual can define what they feel comfortable with, and it is inappropriate for others to define this for them.
For example, Bliss Community Dance members who have danced together for years may feel safe and comfortable doing a dance that involves contact improv, laying on the floor, or touch that may include ‘no touch zones’ as part of the movement. Remember this is your dance, and another person’s dance is their dance. You can and should move away to another area if someone else’s dance is giving rise to feelings of discomfort in you.
Be aware of your body in relation to others: The nature of a busy dance floor is that we will come into contact with each other. This is a natural part of the dance. However, you are responsible for your own body and actions. When you unintentionally or intentionally do something that hurts or frightens another person you should apologize, to let them know you are sorry, and allow them to make the next step. It does not matter if what you did would not have frightened you. It is entirely up to the other person to decide what is right for them.
Be forgiving of yourself and others: We welcome you with your imperfections. We all make mistakes and it’s okay. Dance can be seen as a process of blunders and recoveries. Even the process of walking is one of falling and catching ourselves. It is very difficult to be open and understanding and grow in a world where perfection is required. In general, we are good about forgiving others, and are most hard upon ourselves. When we make a mistake, we should hold ourselves accountable: we should apologize, take reasonable actions to avoid similar mistakes, and then move forward in our new knowledge with love and honor for ourselves and others. As humans, we have a tendency to punish ourselves repeatedly for our mistakes, which is inherently abusive. When we find ourselves caught in this cycle, we should greet ourselves once again with compassion and forgiveness, and move forward with renewed self-respect.
Surrender from a place of safety and love: To surrender one’s control and allow another to lead can be a freeing dance experience. This should be done in awareness and one should never try to force surrender in one’s self or in another. Earned trust through experience is especially important for maneuvers where you leave a grounded position. You should only surrender with the awareness that you remain responsible for yourself in all circumstances.
Experimenting with altered states on the dance floor should be avoided: Self-exploration through dance requires that you be truly present. Altered states may give you a false sense of your own safety, and may also impair your ability to respond appropriately to others.
Children are welcome and require monitoring: Bliss Community Dance welcomes dancers of all ages. A busy dance floor can be difficult to negotiate for aware adults, and is even more difficult for children. Children require parental engagement and responsibility at all times. Adult dancers need to give special awareness and caution when dancing near dancers of small size and limited awareness and experience.
Waiver and Release of Claims: I knowingly, voluntarily, and expressly waive, for myself and my executors, administrators, assignees, guests, and heirs, any and all rights and claims for personal injury, damages, losses, and other actions whatsoever, which I may have or which may arise against Bliss Community Dance, or any of its employees, directors, officers, agents, or representatives, including but not limited to any and all injuries, damages or illnesses suffered by me or dance attendees, which may, in any way whatsoever, arise out of, be related to or in any way be connected with the dance event.